Idea 1: See feedback as dialogues
The first idea is: Let’s stop talking about it as “giving feedback” and rather start talking about it as “having feedback dialogues”
We know from research that when we hear ourselves talk and articulate something, we start reflecting on it and become wiser as well as motivated to learn and develop. So, if we want to practise feedback from which people learn and develop, we need them to start talking. Therefore, we have to stop “giving feedback” to others, only expecting them to reply with “thanks” before both parties move on to the next task. Instead, we need to make room for conversations and more ongoing feedback dialogues.
Idea 2: Throw out the models
The second idea is: We don’t need any feedback models – so let’s throw them out!
Models are redundant. In a feedback situation, the only thing we need is to balance advocacy and enquiry every time we want people to develop and become more motivated to learn. In other words, all good feedback contains questions. If we start asking more questions before, during or after the feedback, something magical will happen. Questions like: “What would be helpful for you to have my opinion on?” or “Now you know my perspective on the situation, and why it worked really well for me – but what were your thoughts on doing what you did at the meeting?”